If you happened to be in the studio today around 4pm or so, you would know that today’s blog post can only be about one thing: the phone conversation that went down between MINE™ and the Fake Yellow Pages scammers.
In retrospect, it all began earlier in the day when I fielded a call from someone purporting to be from the Yellow Pages’ online directory. I immediately had feelings that it was suspect, but decided to listen for a minute in case it was legit, especially as the guy on the other end simply wanted “confirmation” on the studio’s “business information”—phone number, address, etc. Basic info that anyone can find out and that makes sense being in a business directory. As soon as the guy wanted me to start giving him new information, I declined and suggested we just stick with the basic info. He said okay and then thanked me for my time.
Nope. Around 4pm, I get another call from the same guy. I already spoke to you, I tell him. He replies with some business about a problem with a server and having to redo it all. Whatever. The thing that changes on this call is that now he wants me to create some “easy to remember 4-digit password” in order to secure the information. I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable creating a number and that we would decline, and that it doesn’t even make sense for me to create a password for a free business listing. So basically, for the next few minutes, after I keep telling the guy no and hanging up, he calls back about 4 or 5 times. Rapid-fire style. Christopher is on the other line and is hearing what I’m saying, so when he gets off, he tells me to put the call through to him.
The rest of it plays out more or less like this:
Christopher (CCHS) tells the Fake Yellow Pages Guy (FYPG) that he’s the owner. Christopher sits through the same “information verification.” Then he stops the guy short.
CCHS: So let me ask you something. Is this ever going to cost me anything? (his voice starting to raise)
FYPG: No, it’s free.
CCHS: So this is never going to cost me anything? Ever?
FYPG: Totally free. Forever. All you need to do is create a passcode and confirm blah, blah, blah and (speaks this last part fast—think Micro Machine Man from the 90s style) you’ll be upgraded to the elite listing for $39.99 a month, which you can cancel within two weeks.
From here on out, Christopher’s voice, tone, temper gradually accelerates with each second.
CCHS: Wait a minute. You’re telling me I have to cancel after two weeks or I’ll have to pay for it? That’s not what you said a minute ago. When I asked you if it would ever cost me anything, you should have said yes.
Fake Yellow Pages guy starts talking.
CCHS: Stop talking. Stop talking and listen for one second. I don’t want you calling here ever again. Do you understand?
CCHS: Do you understand?
CCHS: What? What don’t you understand? Never f****** call my office again. (voice especially raised)
FYPG: (pause) You bloody motherf*****; You are a motherf*****.
CCHS: Are you serious? (laughs) Are you serious? Let me speak to your manager.
Hears phone rustling.
Same guy gets back on; changes voice to different pitch: Hello?
CCHS: Yes, i just spoke with your associate who called me a bloody motherf***** after i told him i didn’t want to buy his services. Is this how you’re operating your business?
FYPG, part II: You are a bloody motherf******. I will f*** you in your a**, you motherf*****. I can take more than you can, you motherf*****
CCHS: (very forcefully without hesitation) Don’t ever call my office again.
(hangs up phone)
This Fake Yellow Pages Guy either needs to take the advice on my tea tag and act a little greater, or he took the advice too far and was feeling a little too great about himself.